Writers block is a fucker! Anyway though it’s crazy to me how I’ll care more for most animals and bugs then lots of humans maybe I lack empathy for so many people even though I crave attention most shut me out.
Human connection is the most difficult thing on earth for autistic folks that could be a chapter in a book if I ever had one so much could be delved into the subject and if I could have one thing is to be understood more often.
It’s weird that I don’t consider blogging more I absolutely love WordPress’s layout my huge problem of lack of great sleep and out poor of thoughts to put out.
One of my important points is how there was a unsettling bug brought in the house by my cat Wiley, it struck me in the last few hours how I cared about it not dying in the house so I begged mom to help cause it freaked me out it surprised us both when the thing flew off when it was near the door. Peace and love is key that is all folks!
Seems to be loads of spirals that life tends throw a lot of curve balls at least for me and maybe it’s like that for a lot of people too. I’ve had a paranormal amount of off days that need to be cured asap!
Within these peculiar mashed up days I have a portion of peace and more elevated stress scattered through my cerebellum. I realize there’s a brilliance to some of my life despite unsettling vibes.
As one of my favorite metaphors is portaling through life which probably isn’t a word but I have fun. In my own introverted bizarre trapped life it’s mostly a great life, I just need more out of it.
I feel more nourishment though from a glamorous amount of sleep maybe that can happen soon and maybe I don’t make sense I just felt like down pouring some flow of vocabulary to the world. Sometimes there’s a spark of genius from me that I wish could be a famous known thing for now it’s like this and I love any of my supporters!
Sometimes I miss blogging so here I am. I wish there was more to my life but I mostly play video games although 2 PlayStation friends I’ve known passed away in the last 6 months that really effected me a fair amount.
I have been lucky enough to go to the movies that has been a peaceful exclusion from my abyss of home I bury myself 80% of the time!For an aspie life is pretty solid at least better than it was a few years ago or even better than some days I’ve had on social media luckily I don’t really get involved anymore in that bullshit really cut back my hours on them over the months pretty wholesome; digital friends don’t need to be so important I just have to remember this!
I really miss having amazing friends on PlayStation or at least people I barely had issues like Shawn to bad that isn’t much an option anymore. It crushes my soul that I have such a hard time staying friends with someone I chat with often!
I’ve had so much going on outside of PlayStation that it’s poison to my soul that I barely can enjoy my gaming as much as I should mainly because of someone named Kevin and John. Not sure why I don’t blog more I’ve had other racing thoughts/theories about society but that has dwindled less because of my entertainment being ruined!
When is it gonna be that autistic people get more opportunities just for being different and given more chances maybe sympathetic reasons? Maybe it’s lazy but I do believe more people in America have money and rich folks let the medium suffer!
Part of why I love horror so much is cause I feel trapped so much in life and that is uncertain if it’ll ever change. I don’t know who ever is interested in my occasional blogs but I’m glad I have it as an option despite the energy flow of it.
Sometimes I’m quite sure I’m cursed cause more bad happens to me than good. Maybe I’ve done several things that cause bad luck when I was younger or maybe it’s an autism thing to just screw up!
I don’t have enough humble people that help me and my family especially when we desperately need it which reminds me of the most complex puzzles/quantum physics that kinda helps me cope when I think about it. My writing is comforting as well even if it’s peculiar I love the way it is!
Another note is I used to blog more I absolutely hate the word excuse but I’m sure any reason I come up with is one although maybe I shouldn’t say that cause I get really into other stuff I enjoy too. Regardless I love anyone that supports me especially since I’m difficult more so than most people on earth.
Hmm what else can flow out of my stem cells? I can try a little bit more to be more positive even if it’s brutally hard. Some aspies tend to overthink I’m an expert at that one that’s about all I got for now.
In the past week I’ve had a bunch of mean people in PlayStation chats that are extremely homophobic, say the worst possible things about my disability, games I did bad that I dominated at even though they didn’t do them at all, and obnoxious stuff about a bathroom experience I had.
Voice chats are supposed to be comforting while you game but instead it’s been over the top although a couple days ago I got involved in roasting that was hilarious fun for a few hours until more people joined and bashed me for an hour and half eventually I left but it had me yelling in so much angry that was unfortunate.
Besides that stuff some people give me a hard time about being bisexual I’ll admit I’m comfortable with except when people say something about an experience a few years ago especially during pride month for gods sake!
On some positives I’ve mostly enjoyed myself with a game called Returnal and finally being able to go the movies which is a blast; yesterday I even bought myself some groceries that felt manly.
Recently I’ve dealt with a scary bank scam and I’ve been taken advantage of at least 50 or maybe even 100 times. Easily the worst aspect of my aspect of Asperger’s is being gullible! I don’t know if it’ll do any good to others that I’ve been through unfortunate schemes but maybe expressing a portion of my experiences will give others comfort.
So in the last couple weeks I’ve been swindled into thinking I was gonna get thousands of dollars come to find out it’s a load of lies and a known scam especially with the way the people talked. I’ve felt disoriented all day like a piece of my brain was set on fire! I’ve had other experiences over the years I should know better just get sucked into conversations hoping it’ll be the real deal.
Lol I didn’t expect to have so much to say in a blog I’m sorry. Either way maybe someone on the spectrum or not relates.
A few other last thoughts is that one day my money problems go away and I’m more at ease in my daily life! 2020 has been a pile of shit in many ways!
An incredible 7 hour sleep, boring morning and extraordinary lunch experience of getting out for the for the first time March to go to Burger Shack then road in the car a bit.
Crazy how I’ve had stomach pain at least 4 times in last week and when that was over I started to have neck pain; madness how difficult it is for me to enjoy a full day without being a hot mess!
Hope everyone in the blog world is doing well I was blown away how many people were out I must be among very few experts that can cope with isolation for a long time. As much as I miss doing more outside things it’s nice once in awhile for sure especially for aspies at least.
Not much new for me unfortunately I do gaming a lot, watch stuff, and write reviews on IMDb very often. I mean I do have a not normal amount of nightmares don’t know where that comes from definitely intriguing to me so it’s ok makes for a good story.
A whirlwind of sensory overload, banging noises galore of getting a new AC unit, and being in pain most the day from siracha I had recently that effects my IBS unfortunately. It’s cool though I signed into back into my LinkedIn today because I was inspired by a wonderful being and I’ve had great gaming progress!
Definitely helps to be content regardless of unique aspects, the bliss of having things set is glorious beyond imaginable! The kicker would be to have the option to celebrate good things by popping a whine bottle, I’d love to experience that at some point. I wonder often if opportunities will come my way I’m not sure at least I’m kept safe and entertained.
Cubicles of danger and enlightenment is the best things that stream through my mind; I’m packed with delight! I may be weird but at least I’m happy most of the time.
Sometimes you gotta out maneuver the evil with joy to keep you sane. As said on The Simpsons “Sometimes you can’t have Paris Lisa.”