Disappointed in the way people treat me!

I’m blown away the amount of strangers that expect me to help them barely anyone helps me besides a few people. Not only am I nagged a lot but my stomach hurts and I only got 3 hours sleep.

Really frustrating the amount of selfish people I experience it gets me in full blown rage! I need more ambience and peace enriching me. I don’t know how to fix a lot of things being autistic wish I could do more especially be around genuine people. I’m a loss with the pace of my life I just try to entertain myself the bulk of the time.

Crazy how much madness has been happening!

I’ve had numerous sleep struggles on and off lately for weeks, lots happening with my mom including taxes, bullied on Snapchat recently, I’ve had several people nag me for money that I don’t have and I was yelled at which is one of the worst triggers for an aspie at least for me!

Badly in need of a miracle or several, I’m so ready for some blessings. I haven’t felt so cursed in years even my mom had nearly everything go wrong for at least 5 hours.

On positive notes at least my gaming has gone well and I have a very happy cat. I’m mostly healthy I’ve improved my stomach aches that were common just not much else.

Maybe I can hope for some exceptional peace from now on, tremendously uncertain with 3 hours sleep though. Hope anyone that sees this is doing solid enough lately.

Feeling an overload of loneliness and lack of opportunities for aspies!

Maybe it’s me and a few other autistic folks but I’ve had a tremendous lack of social experiences in the last 5 years ish or so. Could be a North Carolina thing I’d like think it seems other states are better with progressing chances for my type and it should be the opposite!

I’ve been on housing lists for probably 8 years and even was accepted for one yet their production is dreadful almost as if they just don’t care about my kind that need it badly. Not sure what it is I just know am feeling off about my lack of greatness/joy in life; I’d sell my soul for miracles.

Could potentially be the time of season as well nearly summer and I’m metaphorically in a long term floating portal that doesn’t end for years whist time on earth moves on I think that’s a brilliant possibility.

People like me badly need more understanding in life I’ve had some that don’t understand my diet and mentality that’s hurts thinking about it. Some need to be more informed on health and quirky folks life would be smoother then so yeah an odd overlook on unsettling feelings I have.

Been almost exactly 2 months since I blogged I can’t believe it!

A subject that is infuriating entirely is when will say you’re wrong about anything but especially when I try to voice my views on how against vaccines/boosters. I try to mention in a group chat about heart problems someone says they’ve read they’re literature and I’m wrong; I consider this extremely effed up!

I’m sure a lot of people praise getting a shot but from what I know about it’s caused unhealthy symptoms maybe death there’s even research available for this I guess you can’t say anything to others they just write a paragraph to me without even considering it. Not only this stuff but the same person that upset me is married to a guy yet they say it’s a wife even though the person very much looks like a guy that’s just weird don’t call them a wife then they aren’t transgender just the gender fluid stuff.

Sorry I don’t blog more when I do I tend to vent maybe some stuff will be different regardless this is perpetually comforting when I’m in the mood for it.

Maybe I deserve to have toxic occurrences happen cause I didn’t sleep well and I’m in pain. I’ll try to not be stumped with my writing although I do a lot of gaming in general.

Feel lost/disappointed

I really miss having amazing friends on PlayStation or at least people I barely had issues like Shawn to bad that isn’t much an option anymore. It crushes my soul that I have such a hard time staying friends with someone I chat with often!

I’ve had so much going on outside of PlayStation that it’s poison to my soul that I barely can enjoy my gaming as much as I should mainly because of someone named Kevin and John. Not sure why I don’t blog more I’ve had other racing thoughts/theories about society but that has dwindled less because of my entertainment being ruined!

When is it gonna be that autistic people get more opportunities just for being different and given more chances maybe sympathetic reasons? Maybe it’s lazy but I do believe more people in America have money and rich folks let the medium suffer!

Part of why I love horror so much is cause I feel trapped so much in life and that is uncertain if it’ll ever change. I don’t know who ever is interested in my occasional blogs but I’m glad I have it as an option despite the energy flow of it.

I guess I don’t have to many that understand me and apparently everything I say is invalid in an argument

According to someone I had some arguing with that I’m always the problem and they don’t accept anything they do or any of my points were all invalid just because I didn’t want to join a chat immediately after it was made. Dude needs to be more patient and grow out of some stuff even he wants me to that’s not fair for an aspie!

I don’t want to change myself for others I shouldn’t have to; life would be extraordinary if anyone understand this. When did it start people aren’t allowed to have a good excuse to a situation I’ll never comprehend the whole crutch thing that’s how it works!

Baffled

I wish people understood I don’t have much help in life except my mom and very few others so when people ask for money it’s infuriating cause I’m in the same boat and some ask when to often. I don’t know what to do about it!

Maybe some enjoy my kindness to much when I relate but I get taken advantage of more than most humans on earth and it hurts my soul. How hard is it to understand I have Aspergers and I can’t offer much!?

On another my birthday is August 4th I’ll be 29 that’s pretty exciting for me especially since July has been a tough month! I hope everyone that sees this is doing better I’m disoriented cause my sleep has been clunky.

Lastly I’ve loved going to the movie theater whenever possible I so wish more could be normal for society at some point. I would like to blog more maybe get better stuff happening next week any support is appreciated!

Been awhile since I’ve entered this dimension

Sometimes I’m quite sure I’m cursed cause more bad happens to me than good. Maybe I’ve done several things that cause bad luck when I was younger or maybe it’s an autism thing to just screw up!

I don’t have enough humble people that help me and my family especially when we desperately need it which reminds me of the most complex puzzles/quantum physics that kinda helps me cope when I think about it. My writing is comforting as well even if it’s peculiar I love the way it is!

Another note is I used to blog more I absolutely hate the word excuse but I’m sure any reason I come up with is one although maybe I shouldn’t say that cause I get really into other stuff I enjoy too. Regardless I love anyone that supports me especially since I’m difficult more so than most people on earth.

Hmm what else can flow out of my stem cells? I can try a little bit more to be more positive even if it’s brutally hard. Some aspies tend to overthink I’m an expert at that one that’s about all I got for now.

Wish I had different people to voice chat with on PlayStation!

In the past week I’ve had a bunch of mean people in PlayStation chats that are extremely homophobic, say the worst possible things about my disability, games I did bad that I dominated at even though they didn’t do them at all, and obnoxious stuff about a bathroom experience I had.

Voice chats are supposed to be comforting while you game but instead it’s been over the top although a couple days ago I got involved in roasting that was hilarious fun for a few hours until more people joined and bashed me for an hour and half eventually I left but it had me yelling in so much angry that was unfortunate.

Besides that stuff some people give me a hard time about being bisexual I’ll admit I’m comfortable with except when people say something about an experience a few years ago especially during pride month for gods sake!

On some positives I’ve mostly enjoyed myself with a game called Returnal and finally being able to go the movies which is a blast; yesterday I even bought myself some groceries that felt manly.

Frustration about Covid

Can’t this Covid go away I’m so fed up! I had an amazing time at the movies finally last week and today there’s an article of cases rising; I wish this shit would fuck off so people can enjoy life again!

I was enlightened recently now I’m unsure if Covid would ever end cause more cases rise. Aspies crave socializing even though they struggle with it not being able to for me is bizarre I miss people so much.

A definite positive was getting stimulus money and getting so much goodies so at least I have plenty of entertainment that can last me months or longer. I’m not sure if there will be any other stimulus but it was one of the best things ever; I wish I had sources of money making Covid kinda ruined that too.

I’m sorry about my frustration I even have darker thoughts about a lot of things that I don’t know how to express to anyone. Blogging is amazing in an appropriate way for sure.