Sometimes I’m quite sure I’m cursed cause more bad happens to me than good. Maybe I’ve done several things that cause bad luck when I was younger or maybe it’s an autism thing to just screw up!
I don’t have enough humble people that help me and my family especially when we desperately need it which reminds me of the most complex puzzles/quantum physics that kinda helps me cope when I think about it. My writing is comforting as well even if it’s peculiar I love the way it is!
Another note is I used to blog more I absolutely hate the word excuse but I’m sure any reason I come up with is one although maybe I shouldn’t say that cause I get really into other stuff I enjoy too. Regardless I love anyone that supports me especially since I’m difficult more so than most people on earth.
Hmm what else can flow out of my stem cells? I can try a little bit more to be more positive even if it’s brutally hard. Some aspies tend to overthink I’m an expert at that one that’s about all I got for now.
In the past week I’ve had a bunch of mean people in PlayStation chats that are extremely homophobic, say the worst possible things about my disability, games I did bad that I dominated at even though they didn’t do them at all, and obnoxious stuff about a bathroom experience I had.
Voice chats are supposed to be comforting while you game but instead it’s been over the top although a couple days ago I got involved in roasting that was hilarious fun for a few hours until more people joined and bashed me for an hour and half eventually I left but it had me yelling in so much angry that was unfortunate.
Besides that stuff some people give me a hard time about being bisexual I’ll admit I’m comfortable with except when people say something about an experience a few years ago especially during pride month for gods sake!
On some positives I’ve mostly enjoyed myself with a game called Returnal and finally being able to go the movies which is a blast; yesterday I even bought myself some groceries that felt manly.
Can’t this Covid go away I’m so fed up! I had an amazing time at the movies finally last week and today there’s an article of cases rising; I wish this shit would fuck off so people can enjoy life again!
I was enlightened recently now I’m unsure if Covid would ever end cause more cases rise. Aspies crave socializing even though they struggle with it not being able to for me is bizarre I miss people so much.
A definite positive was getting stimulus money and getting so much goodies so at least I have plenty of entertainment that can last me months or longer. I’m not sure if there will be any other stimulus but it was one of the best things ever; I wish I had sources of money making Covid kinda ruined that too.
I’m sorry about my frustration I even have darker thoughts about a lot of things that I don’t know how to express to anyone. Blogging is amazing in an appropriate way for sure.
Hoping to unravel more of my greatness throughout the year especially considering the possibility of Covid might decrease in the next few months or further into the year businesses should open up. I miss very much getting out even though I’m introverted badly I want a girlfriend, to see movies in the theater again, and maybe a chance to move out!
I love my quirky ways on another note of a different subject quite a few times I’m misunderstood and there’s times where I want to be better at explaining myself if I can’t do it or wish more understood my aspie ways; I definitely go through a lot of strange interactions with so many people that me uncertain if I’ll be alone more in my life. Sorry for such a long paragraphs just a few quite a branch of Alex flowing through.
Some shorter bit that might help my future or could be fun I’ve done some pencil writing which I’m proud of.
Also lastly even though I’ve not written as much blogs I still love it and those that might be interested I still write reviews on IMDb.
Someone recently contacted me in the last week wanted a gift card which is sketchy to me and I sensed that but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt; the craziest thing about is the person wanted me to order it for myself without giving their address or email. I’m infuriated by the ridiculousness I’ve chatted with and wanted to vent.
If someone was legitimately wanting a gift especially a code or a package it’d require the persons email/address not mine. I don’t know why I gravitate towards these type of weirdos that aren’t even smart I mean I hope I’m not wrong sure I’m gullible at times unfortunately but I’ve learned the hard way about things that don’t make sense.
On other positive notes I still write reviews on IMDb my username is UniqueParticle on it and I try to entertain myself most days even with my challenges I try to be healthy.
Today is a weird day for #Valentines Alex experiences relentless loneliness and someone expected money from me even though I usually don’t have much to offer. I’m sorry about my venting I still love my writing regardless of these strange circumstances.
I feel so much stress, uncertainty, and regret! Crazy how being an aspie I ruin my chances with a girl that I have a huge crush so fast if I’m overly honest like I’m comfortable with and I tend to say things almost no one is ok with.
The anguish of pain for me with the amount of loneliness I deal with is unbearable. My experience getting excited in conversations leads to my hugest mistake of my entire life!
With my luck I guess I’ll be alone forever. This disturbs me so much like recently I thought I connected with the love of my life until I mention a couple overly inappropriate things.
At least I have a reason to blog even though I feel like absolute shit! I my as well have been stabbed in the stomach!
An incredible 7 hour sleep, boring morning and extraordinary lunch experience of getting out for the for the first time March to go to Burger Shack then road in the car a bit.
Crazy how I’ve had stomach pain at least 4 times in last week and when that was over I started to have neck pain; madness how difficult it is for me to enjoy a full day without being a hot mess!
Hope everyone in the blog world is doing well I was blown away how many people were out I must be among very few experts that can cope with isolation for a long time. As much as I miss doing more outside things it’s nice once in awhile for sure especially for aspies at least.
Not much new for me unfortunately I do gaming a lot, watch stuff, and write reviews on IMDb very often. I mean I do have a not normal amount of nightmares don’t know where that comes from definitely intriguing to me so it’s ok makes for a good story.
Crazy how I got to know a girl a little I thought liked me but if I decide to do gaming and not check my phone for a portion of the day I get blocked. Anyone who’s gonna send 6 messages without a response should take a hint maybe I’m busy and they need to entertain themselve!
I’d love to have a girlfriend but not if I can’t enjoy my gaming or any form of entertainment for 6 hours of the day. I’m baffled how fast things lasted before I didn’t matter anymore, it’s super crappy to me!
Girls are rarely into me and if they are I’m lucky if it lasts more than a few days or months in real life or social media. Not sure if it’s an aspie thing or just part of quarantine where people are more on edge especially with lack of things to do during where as I’m golden for as long as I need to.
Lastly I know I don’t blog much I’m sorry for that sometimes I have a subject that puzzles me with massive confusion and a little bit of anger. Maybe it’ll be easier for me one day in terms of relationships for now I’ll remain lonely.