Part of me misses blogging but I barely have much to write about maybe writers block

One thing that bothers me in life is how autism has defined even though people say don’t let it define you it’s a downpour of no success for me sometimes I get sick of just entertain myself. I bet not many realize except the ones that hate me might think I’m a loser I kinda am!

It’s odd experience 30 years old still not much greatness to be proud of I even slept well I just get annoyed with how my life is destroyed because of autism. I barely am good at socializing, barely able to work and barely good most essential things like cooking.

Whatever though at least I slept great I just want more out of life I don’t know what to do to improve a lot of aspects. I’m mostly healthy that’s one of best things I have going for me.

There really needs to be more options of success for quirky folks it would make a vast difference. For now I’ll keep trying to accept my life with ridiculous amount of entertainment; hope anyone that sees my posts is doing well!

Crazy how much madness has been happening!

I’ve had numerous sleep struggles on and off lately for weeks, lots happening with my mom including taxes, bullied on Snapchat recently, I’ve had several people nag me for money that I don’t have and I was yelled at which is one of the worst triggers for an aspie at least for me!

Badly in need of a miracle or several, I’m so ready for some blessings. I haven’t felt so cursed in years even my mom had nearly everything go wrong for at least 5 hours.

On positive notes at least my gaming has gone well and I have a very happy cat. I’m mostly healthy I’ve improved my stomach aches that were common just not much else.

Maybe I can hope for some exceptional peace from now on, tremendously uncertain with 3 hours sleep though. Hope anyone that sees this is doing solid enough lately.

Feeling an overload of loneliness and lack of opportunities for aspies!

Maybe it’s me and a few other autistic folks but I’ve had a tremendous lack of social experiences in the last 5 years ish or so. Could be a North Carolina thing I’d like think it seems other states are better with progressing chances for my type and it should be the opposite!

I’ve been on housing lists for probably 8 years and even was accepted for one yet their production is dreadful almost as if they just don’t care about my kind that need it badly. Not sure what it is I just know am feeling off about my lack of greatness/joy in life; I’d sell my soul for miracles.

Could potentially be the time of season as well nearly summer and I’m metaphorically in a long term floating portal that doesn’t end for years whist time on earth moves on I think that’s a brilliant possibility.

People like me badly need more understanding in life I’ve had some that don’t understand my diet and mentality that’s hurts thinking about it. Some need to be more informed on health and quirky folks life would be smoother then so yeah an odd overlook on unsettling feelings I have.

Been awhile since I’ve entered this dimension

Sometimes I’m quite sure I’m cursed cause more bad happens to me than good. Maybe I’ve done several things that cause bad luck when I was younger or maybe it’s an autism thing to just screw up!

I don’t have enough humble people that help me and my family especially when we desperately need it which reminds me of the most complex puzzles/quantum physics that kinda helps me cope when I think about it. My writing is comforting as well even if it’s peculiar I love the way it is!

Another note is I used to blog more I absolutely hate the word excuse but I’m sure any reason I come up with is one although maybe I shouldn’t say that cause I get really into other stuff I enjoy too. Regardless I love anyone that supports me especially since I’m difficult more so than most people on earth.

Hmm what else can flow out of my stem cells? I can try a little bit more to be more positive even if it’s brutally hard. Some aspies tend to overthink I’m an expert at that one that’s about all I got for now.

Opinions are dangerous

Between criticisms on that I should play more difficult games than I do, overwhelming conversations, or my mom getting insulted. I guess some are stressed and easily take it on me or family but I’m over it!

I know others can agree 2020 has been a shit show which is craziness, there needs to be more wins! Luckily being an aspie my routine is mundane enough, smooth, and comforting for me that I can be ok most the time; it is also quite an extraordinary experience despite my struggles.

A delightful yet mean while being phenomenal point my mom says “Opinions are assholes and everyone has them” I always love that. Should be a famous quote!

Uncertainty has devoured me and positivity is gravitated with me, my own clever madness! Regardless of anything I’m sure things will get better or at least I try to I mean my mom’s lack of work/unemployment money is unnerving but like I said before at least I’m ok most the time.

Unraveling of misfortune

Crazy how I got to know a girl a little I thought liked me but if I decide to do gaming and not check my phone for a portion of the day I get blocked. Anyone who’s gonna send 6 messages without a response should take a hint maybe I’m busy and they need to entertain themselve!

I’d love to have a girlfriend but not if I can’t enjoy my gaming or any form of entertainment for 6 hours of the day. I’m baffled how fast things lasted before I didn’t matter anymore, it’s super crappy to me!

Girls are rarely into me and if they are I’m lucky if it lasts more than a few days or months in real life or social media. Not sure if it’s an aspie thing or just part of quarantine where people are more on edge especially with lack of things to do during where as I’m golden for as long as I need to.

Lastly I know I don’t blog much I’m sorry for that sometimes I have a subject that puzzles me with massive confusion and a little bit of anger. Maybe it’ll be easier for me one day in terms of relationships for now I’ll remain lonely.

Reawaken the quirky guy

Barely been in healthy enough mindset due to lockdown, so tired of living with my mom and sister they can be so hard to be around. I’m lucky to have plenty of entertainment for ions, I’d be a hella of a lot worse without my comforts.

Such an unfortunate and ghoulish thing how I feel so unwanted by hundreds of people, I’d do anything to get some good things to come my way! I wish I could also apologize to everyone whom expects more from me and thinks I’m capable of things that, well aspies aren’t packed with skills plus not a pedophile like some think!

Just a form of my venting despite the subject matter although I have had some amazing dreams that very much intrigued my inspiration, I’d totally have at least 15 ideas to pitch if I knew the right people. Hmm the uncertainty is powerful or weak either way I have fun with that.

I don’t know where my mind goes sometimes it unnerves me quite a bit. The realm of light and darkness seeping through opening a covered cave is my life in a nutshell.