I’ve had numerous sleep struggles on and off lately for weeks, lots happening with my mom including taxes, bullied on Snapchat recently, I’ve had several people nag me for money that I don’t have and I was yelled at which is one of the worst triggers for an aspie at least for me!
Badly in need of a miracle or several, I’m so ready for some blessings. I haven’t felt so cursed in years even my mom had nearly everything go wrong for at least 5 hours.
On positive notes at least my gaming has gone well and I have a very happy cat. I’m mostly healthy I’ve improved my stomach aches that were common just not much else.
Maybe I can hope for some exceptional peace from now on, tremendously uncertain with 3 hours sleep though. Hope anyone that sees this is doing solid enough lately.
Seems to be loads of spirals that life tends throw a lot of curve balls at least for me and maybe it’s like that for a lot of people too. I’ve had a paranormal amount of off days that need to be cured asap!
Within these peculiar mashed up days I have a portion of peace and more elevated stress scattered through my cerebellum. I realize there’s a brilliance to some of my life despite unsettling vibes.
As one of my favorite metaphors is portaling through life which probably isn’t a word but I have fun. In my own introverted bizarre trapped life it’s mostly a great life, I just need more out of it.
I feel more nourishment though from a glamorous amount of sleep maybe that can happen soon and maybe I don’t make sense I just felt like down pouring some flow of vocabulary to the world. Sometimes there’s a spark of genius from me that I wish could be a famous known thing for now it’s like this and I love any of my supporters!
Maybe it’s me and a few other autistic folks but I’ve had a tremendous lack of social experiences in the last 5 years ish or so. Could be a North Carolina thing I’d like think it seems other states are better with progressing chances for my type and it should be the opposite!
I’ve been on housing lists for probably 8 years and even was accepted for one yet their production is dreadful almost as if they just don’t care about my kind that need it badly. Not sure what it is I just know am feeling off about my lack of greatness/joy in life; I’d sell my soul for miracles.
Could potentially be the time of season as well nearly summer and I’m metaphorically in a long term floating portal that doesn’t end for years whist time on earth moves on I think that’s a brilliant possibility.
People like me badly need more understanding in life I’ve had some that don’t understand my diet and mentality that’s hurts thinking about it. Some need to be more informed on health and quirky folks life would be smoother then so yeah an odd overlook on unsettling feelings I have.
I got to experience a memorial service for someone I loved and known for around 15 years which was heartbreaking and a wildly fun event!
My soul feels different truly realizing the loss of a dear friend named Danny Furry, I didn’t know how much it’d effect me till I got to the memorial seeing photos and hearing the stories while others cried I did a little bit.
Crazy seeing people I haven’t seen in many years some of which I barely remembered and new ones that were great to be around. I got to even have a little bit of tequila that was chill I barely drink alcohol kinda helps take the edge off.
Really hope I can see more wonderful people somehow I need it! Life is essential for these precious times especially of loving ones.
I so wish I could have more social fun like I did yesterday where I got a golden milk, golden, had a blast at a concert of Khurangbin a psychedelic wonderful upcoming artist and bond with some friends I’ve known on and off for years.
Autism is the killing drive lack of these events mostly and it took a death of a wonderful friend I’ve known half my life to bring out some social extravaganza which it shouldn’t take that but what can you do.
I absolutely loved the fun I got to have with a friend named Rio, Christie, Jason, Ashleigh and my mom got involved; they are all great goofballs with legendary stories!
The concert was wild too I smelled weed strongly the whole time I so wish I could have some it helps me, damn illegal for some reason. I love the vibe around such an event I wouldn’t want a more intense artist other the brilliance of Khurangbin; seemed like a version of Woodstock even though I didn’t exist then.
Maybe in due time more wild enlightenment can gravitate towards me overtime especially after reconnecting some kind souls! A lot of the time I don’t have much going on it’s kinda nice yet life changing to socialize when the opportunity arises.
Sometimes I miss blogging so here I am. I wish there was more to my life but I mostly play video games although 2 PlayStation friends I’ve known passed away in the last 6 months that really effected me a fair amount.
I have been lucky enough to go to the movies that has been a peaceful exclusion from my abyss of home I bury myself 80% of the time!For an aspie life is pretty solid at least better than it was a few years ago or even better than some days I’ve had on social media luckily I don’t really get involved anymore in that bullshit really cut back my hours on them over the months pretty wholesome; digital friends don’t need to be so important I just have to remember this!
I don’t know why I lack wanting to blog as much as I used to although I still write reviews on IMDb. Anyway not much new except I got a kitten recently that is wonderful to experience!
Something important I’d like to make known is most aspie events I go to see hectic and sensory overload I wish they’re could be more chill coordinated meet ups for #autistic folks. I recently went to a pajama walk which was lovely but overly load with a generator that’s dumb for people involved in the event and some of the worst pop music ever!
It might not happen in my life time or at least for a long time but I recommend Beethoven or liquid mind music even 90’s music wasn’t trashy like it is these days.
How bout a piano event or something zen I wish I could tell event planners they are bad at they’re job and should study autism more; every event I’ve gone to even before Covid was overstimulated. I doubt it’ll happen but I’d love to make an impact even if I’m old when it happens nowadays I’m a bum that enjoys gaming, film and writing with some of my craft.
I really miss having amazing friends on PlayStation or at least people I barely had issues like Shawn to bad that isn’t much an option anymore. It crushes my soul that I have such a hard time staying friends with someone I chat with often!
I’ve had so much going on outside of PlayStation that it’s poison to my soul that I barely can enjoy my gaming as much as I should mainly because of someone named Kevin and John. Not sure why I don’t blog more I’ve had other racing thoughts/theories about society but that has dwindled less because of my entertainment being ruined!
When is it gonna be that autistic people get more opportunities just for being different and given more chances maybe sympathetic reasons? Maybe it’s lazy but I do believe more people in America have money and rich folks let the medium suffer!
Part of why I love horror so much is cause I feel trapped so much in life and that is uncertain if it’ll ever change. I don’t know who ever is interested in my occasional blogs but I’m glad I have it as an option despite the energy flow of it.
According to someone I had some arguing with that I’m always the problem and they don’t accept anything they do or any of my points were all invalid just because I didn’t want to join a chat immediately after it was made. Dude needs to be more patient and grow out of some stuff even he wants me to that’s not fair for an aspie!
I don’t want to change myself for others I shouldn’t have to; life would be extraordinary if anyone understand this. When did it start people aren’t allowed to have a good excuse to a situation I’ll never comprehend the whole crutch thing that’s how it works!
My scattered emotions have off the walls between loneliness and lack of activity in my life it’s weird when I sleep phenomenally but my day still spirals! What’s an aspie gotta do to get more help in life that’s been conflicted awhile.
If this was a chapter in a book it’d be called Floating asteroid because in outer space loneliness is the the most extreme it could be. I wouldn’t mind not much going on if my PlayStation friends were slightly better although that’s separate stuff it would help tremendously!
Life would be exceedingly better if it wasn’t for Covid ruin my chances of furthering life I have so many disturbing thoughts about it that I won’t get into to for legal reasons in short I’ll say luckily it’s not worse I guess.
All the stories and wisdom packed in really would could mean a lot one day in the future I probably just need to consider the grass is greener on the other side.