It’s purely disturbing how much I want things in life and can’t do much about it!

The dread really creeps in like a leech that doesn’t wanna get off! I don’t know what to do except what I already do. Part of me hates having autism unlike most that are happy with it well not for me, maybe 40% of it is great the other 60% is hell.

The lack of friends, social issues, bowel problems, misunderstandings, struggles with important normal things, and the poison I get from arguing with my mom and sister. The times where I just wanna eat food and can’t because of distractions and very often my own goddamn mom says “Life with Asperger’s” then I’m thinking no bitch you’re annoying me; any normal person would feel the same way when hungry and lonely.

It’s shocking when people don’t understand my feelings but I’m pushed away by so many that I choose to be away from the world. People say I’d love to not be working, try doing barely anything for 9 years!

I’m sorry my darkness creeps in sometimes, I hope these maddening feelings disperse eventually! #Autism #ASD #Tuesdaythoughts #Depression to some extent.

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